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On Insecurities

 Sometimes in life things happen that seem to set the course for many things to come as far as how we might react. Good or bad, these reactions can at times be traced back in someway to an event. To think about it in those terms is sobering. Often, this is when our insecurities are born.

And so, it can be exhausting sometimes, okay, all the time. But, when we can begin to truly overcome even some of the insecurities, there is joy on the other side, friends. Real joy. And peace. So much peace. Are the insecurities still there? Yes. Will they ever disappear? Probably not. But, when we are open about them, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and when we allow ourselves to trust, we can begin to heal. There is beauty in vulnerability. 

When we allow ourselves to be open, vulnerable and trust, even if it's just a little, we begin to see that even if we're scared, we can still be safe. And when we're safe, it's so much easier to explore our insecurities, it's easier to talk about them, and we can even laugh about them. When we can do those things, we can recognize in our hearts and in our brains that not all people will be a representation of our fears. Maybe some of our circles are very small because of our insecurities, but maybe those small circles will be exactly what we need to slowly expand them.

Insecurities amplify so many other difficulties: loneliness, doubt, anger, further decreases of self-esteem and self-worth, etc. But, friends, don't stay there. Push through, focus on what's in front of you, focus on what you know, don't linger on the what-if's. People will disappoint you, friends will disappoint you. In life, we will face heartbreak, sometimes we will be reminded of why we're insecure.

Beautiful, authentic, genuine friendships happen when we stop obsessing. Life truly happens when we allow ourselves to relax. Maybe we will still be guarded around some, and that's okay, but it is okay to relax sometimes, too.

Life is full of ambiguity- that is to say that life is full of uncertainty; there is little in life that is ever black and white. And so maybe that doesn't help with the insecurities we face. But, can that be turned into our biggest strength? Can it help us appreciate more, love deeper, and laugh louder? I think so. I hope so.

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