Just a Thought or Two

 I've wanted to write this for so long, but the words never come. It's as if writing this means saying hello to the new, but also with that comes a goodbye I'm not sure my heart can handle. God has been working on my heart for over a year, beginning first with the unexpected death of my Grandpa, but culminating in a very unexpected conversation which reminded me in a very real way that I was running from God, that my heart was no longer "in" my relationship with Christ: realizing that Jesus was the furthest thing from the center of my life, realizing that my testimony was effectively down the drain, not because I was living in some gross sin, but because I was living a very lukewarm version of Christianity. As I went to bed that night, I wept for what was to come, for what I knew I needed to do. It's amazing how when our hearts are right with God, when we have a desire to live for Him, we see life through that lens, how when we are vulnerable, our hearts can h...

 I recently learned of a young woman who intentionally drove her power wheelchair into the lake in Edinboro. This woman, not much older than myself, whom I did not know, has been on my mind nonstop. I suppose it is because of the parallels in our lives: age, cerebral palsy, Edinboro, some of the same interests, etc. It's haunting in many, many ways. My heart breaks for her and her family. The demons of life must have been too much, but I pray that she knew Jesus, for now she is resting in His arms- able to walk and move freely without the struggles of disability. If I could talk to her, I think this is what I would say: As you were wheeling around Edinboro that day, I wish someone could have known you needed to be heard. Did you have an opportunity to call someone? Did you send a text message to a friend? As the pressures of life boiled over, could you feel His presence surround you? With your last breath, with your last thought, did you want to fight? I'm sorry that you felt a...