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On 2019

Like 2018 before it, 2019 was a year of change. But perhaps life is settling, perhaps I am not as overwhelmed as we come into 2020.

I am still amazed that this is my life. It has been quite the journey, especially for the last six years, and I am so blessed to be in this place, to be back home. Many of the memories I have had over the last year were possible because of that. Have there been tears? Yes. Have there been frustrations? Yes. But more than any of that, there has been so much joy, so many laughs. There have been many vulnerabilities that led to some hurts, but those vulnerabilities also have allowed me to grow.

It is no secret that I often feel like relationships or friendships are a tremendous struggle for me. But I am grateful for each and every one, for each has most certainly shaped me into the person I am heading into the new year. While the last several months have been heartbreaking in a way, and some friendships have shifted, I am still eternally grateful.

The last year has been filled with many things which I will forever cherish: saying goodbye to my Grandma before she slipped into the arms of Jesus, Friday morning work meetings that evolved into Friday lunch dates filled with chocolate and laughter and venting sessions, simple text messages appreciating Fridays, lunch dates, random hugs, random gifts, random chats, birthday surprises, time with my girls watching them turn into young women, time with my parents and grandparents, cherished time with my sisters, and precious moments with my baby brother, weekends with my Aunts, weekly chats with my Grandpa, movie dates, countless, priceless messages with my Grammy, random voicemails and afternoon chats, laughter about bucket lists and driving skills.

There have been many, many tears in the last year, but the joy and laughter of the little things far outweigh them. 2019 had its challenges, but 2019 was beautiful, too.

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