Just a Thought or Two

I don't really know what to say to end 2021. Every time I begin this post, I end up deleting everything just a few sentences in. Maybe it's because I am leery of anything at this point. Maybe I am wishing for a return to life as I knew it prior to March 2020. Either way, 2021 will soon be behind us in a matter of minutes. It is true- I am tired of the state of the world these last two years. But, even still, 2021 was a good year. It was filled with joy and laughter and conversations and connection and memories that will last a lifetime.  In many ways, it seemed as though I was barely hanging on. But then, when least expected, I had these beautiful moments that gave me just enough of a break. And maybe this is what life is and has always been. Maybe it seems tougher now because everything seems to have compounded- I don't know.  I can be sad, and I am. But, I am so grateful for those beautiful moments. Those beautiful moments are reminders that I'll be okay, that we'...

As people with disabilities (or as people in general), we often find ourselves having to prove that we are more than capable of doing certain things despite our struggles and limitations. Over and over and over. It is exhausting, it is hard. Sometimes we realize that we have to prove ourselves to those we expect to be our staunchest supporters, our loudest cheerleaders. When that happens, maybe it takes our breath away, maybe it shocks us, maybe it cuts deep into our soul. Often, we are left speechless, perhaps we feel slighted or insulted. Maybe as we process, all we can do is cry silent tears and send a text to a dear friend and mentor so we can be reminded of our worth. Maybe we need to laugh and vent with our best friend. Maybe we need to keep processing to move forward. We must always move forward- otherwise, bitterness destroys. When that happens, it becomes even easier for us to focus on our struggles and limitations. During times when abilities are called into question, we need...

Vulnerability can be scary, but maybe vulnerability can also be freeing. Maybe the tears that we shed for others to hear and see can actually help us heal, help us grow. Maybe the text messages we send asking the silliest questions can help instill trust. Maybe words we try to get out in between sobs can help us actually feel safer. Maybe we need to be vulnerable so we can get a good night's sleep. Friendships may always be challenging, but they're always worth fighting for. Certain relationships may come to an end, but maybe those can turn into beautiful friendships. Perhaps our circles are very small, and yes, that's okay, but I think we must strive to push ourselves, and each other, toward the scary, even if the outcome doesn't go as we hope. Ask the silly questions, screenshot the replies if that's what helps you dissolve insecurities one at a time, but keep moving forward, make promises to not push someone away. Always move forward. Claw yourself out of the nev...