I can't drive and I'm okay with that- most of the time. Today my driving ability- or lack thereof- was brought up again as it often is because every other sentence out of my mouth usually is "I can't drive!" As I sit here tonight, I can't help but laugh hysterically about my inability to drive. Seriously, it is funny!
Here are a few of my favorites that showcase that:
The time I straddled the curb/road as a brand new freshman at Edinboro as I fell off the sidewalk because of my poor depth perception. There I was, lost (not saying much because I have no sense of direction whatsoever)! Overwhelmed at this point, I just wanted to go home- furious- I did not want to go where I was going. Okay, so now that we've set the "feeling" stage. It was an early Tuesday evening in Edinboro- near a cluster of academic buildings- there was not one soul around as I wandered aimlessly. Picture this- me in a power chair that I've had less than a week. All of the sudden, there I was, going over the edge of the curb! I was literally straddling the road and the sidewalk- quite the image I am sure! I mean, really, I know you're laughing with me right now! I was too afraid to attempt to grab my phone in my purse because I was sure any movement was going to send me to the ground only to be flattened! So, there I sat! Thankfully, two guys went by in a car and saw me. They backed up and came to my rescue!
The time I was on my way to Pizza Hut- again in my power chair. Now, in my defense, this wasn't so much my fault- the curb cut was terrible and unsafe to say the least. But still, it was a classic Jess moment. So, thankfully I'm with a friend- also in a chair. I had a backpack sitting on my lap. As I prepare to wheel off the curb, I have one hand on the backpack. The incline was such that as I began to move the chair, my hand slipped from the bag and because I had no seat belt on the chair, I began to slip forward. Now, some of you may know a thing or two about my feet. When I get excited or nervous, my feet tend to extend out in front of me so as to not rest correctly on footrests. Picture this- my body sliding forward, my legs extended, and my bag sliding off my lap, flying into the road. As I hit the ground, hands out and ready to soften the blow, my glasses fly off my face, hitting the pavement. This happened in late October, so naturally, I was instantly covered in leaves- head to toe, skirt, shirt, I was covered. Almost instantly, I had people all around me. My glasses were bent in all kinds of directions, my chin had a bruise on it for quite awhile- sometimes If I hit it just right, it still hurts- and my hands hurt instantly from bracing myself against the fall! But, I will never forget that trip to Pizza Hut- it cracks me up every time!
Getting caught in a downpour my first evening on campus. My parents had run ahead of me to find shelter from the rain. I was getting soaked- I mean, sopping wet! All of the sudden, I hit a huge hole and almost tipped out of my chair!
This last one isn't really a reflection on my driving ability, but one of the greatest you will ever read! I came back from class in a hurry- I needed to shower and dress, all in about 45 minutes! I was heading over to a friend's house It was going to be a close one, but I was determined! Wheeled in my room, backed my power chair into the corner behind the door, took off my coat (key detail), lifted my footrest, moved my manual chair in front of the power chair, grabbed onto the armrest, began to transfer. As I was beginning to transfer, my coat moved slightly and hit the joystick. So, mid-transfer, not turned around quite yet, my power chair began to move. In a split second, I decided it was safest for me to fall back, hitting the wall. As if that wasn't enough, remember, my power chair was moving. I hit the floor pretty hard, but there's no rest for the weary because I was literally being chased by a wheelchair. It was careening toward the wall, right towards me. Now, on the other side of me, don't forget my manual chair because, remember, I was transferring into it. So, picture it, Jessica Dineen, sandwiched between two chairs, all because I didn't turn off my power chair! I began scooting to the middle of my room, away from the weapons of mass destruction! Worth noting, I was wearing a very long skirt on this day, so scooting wasn't exactly very easy- I ended up taking my skirt off to get off the floor because it kept getting caught in my braces! Thankfully, my power chair finally hit the wall and I was able to begin to breathe again! I ended up showering and dressing just in the nick of time- although, I was breathless as I got into the car and even as I was walking into her house! What an adventure!
If you're not at least smiling at the end of this, I'm sorry! Life's an adventure! Embrace it, live it, love it, enjoy it, and laugh about it!
Here are a few of my favorites that showcase that:
The time I straddled the curb/road as a brand new freshman at Edinboro as I fell off the sidewalk because of my poor depth perception. There I was, lost (not saying much because I have no sense of direction whatsoever)! Overwhelmed at this point, I just wanted to go home- furious- I did not want to go where I was going. Okay, so now that we've set the "feeling" stage. It was an early Tuesday evening in Edinboro- near a cluster of academic buildings- there was not one soul around as I wandered aimlessly. Picture this- me in a power chair that I've had less than a week. All of the sudden, there I was, going over the edge of the curb! I was literally straddling the road and the sidewalk- quite the image I am sure! I mean, really, I know you're laughing with me right now! I was too afraid to attempt to grab my phone in my purse because I was sure any movement was going to send me to the ground only to be flattened! So, there I sat! Thankfully, two guys went by in a car and saw me. They backed up and came to my rescue!
The time I was on my way to Pizza Hut- again in my power chair. Now, in my defense, this wasn't so much my fault- the curb cut was terrible and unsafe to say the least. But still, it was a classic Jess moment. So, thankfully I'm with a friend- also in a chair. I had a backpack sitting on my lap. As I prepare to wheel off the curb, I have one hand on the backpack. The incline was such that as I began to move the chair, my hand slipped from the bag and because I had no seat belt on the chair, I began to slip forward. Now, some of you may know a thing or two about my feet. When I get excited or nervous, my feet tend to extend out in front of me so as to not rest correctly on footrests. Picture this- my body sliding forward, my legs extended, and my bag sliding off my lap, flying into the road. As I hit the ground, hands out and ready to soften the blow, my glasses fly off my face, hitting the pavement. This happened in late October, so naturally, I was instantly covered in leaves- head to toe, skirt, shirt, I was covered. Almost instantly, I had people all around me. My glasses were bent in all kinds of directions, my chin had a bruise on it for quite awhile- sometimes If I hit it just right, it still hurts- and my hands hurt instantly from bracing myself against the fall! But, I will never forget that trip to Pizza Hut- it cracks me up every time!
Getting caught in a downpour my first evening on campus. My parents had run ahead of me to find shelter from the rain. I was getting soaked- I mean, sopping wet! All of the sudden, I hit a huge hole and almost tipped out of my chair!
This last one isn't really a reflection on my driving ability, but one of the greatest you will ever read! I came back from class in a hurry- I needed to shower and dress, all in about 45 minutes! I was heading over to a friend's house It was going to be a close one, but I was determined! Wheeled in my room, backed my power chair into the corner behind the door, took off my coat (key detail), lifted my footrest, moved my manual chair in front of the power chair, grabbed onto the armrest, began to transfer. As I was beginning to transfer, my coat moved slightly and hit the joystick. So, mid-transfer, not turned around quite yet, my power chair began to move. In a split second, I decided it was safest for me to fall back, hitting the wall. As if that wasn't enough, remember, my power chair was moving. I hit the floor pretty hard, but there's no rest for the weary because I was literally being chased by a wheelchair. It was careening toward the wall, right towards me. Now, on the other side of me, don't forget my manual chair because, remember, I was transferring into it. So, picture it, Jessica Dineen, sandwiched between two chairs, all because I didn't turn off my power chair! I began scooting to the middle of my room, away from the weapons of mass destruction! Worth noting, I was wearing a very long skirt on this day, so scooting wasn't exactly very easy- I ended up taking my skirt off to get off the floor because it kept getting caught in my braces! Thankfully, my power chair finally hit the wall and I was able to begin to breathe again! I ended up showering and dressing just in the nick of time- although, I was breathless as I got into the car and even as I was walking into her house! What an adventure!
If you're not at least smiling at the end of this, I'm sorry! Life's an adventure! Embrace it, live it, love it, enjoy it, and laugh about it!
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